can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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