why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
