its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
