Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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