dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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