is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
