Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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