If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize