I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
