Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize