Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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