nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
