Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
