i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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