I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
