Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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