i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
