what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
