my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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