it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
