i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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