I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
