I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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