Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
