I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
