Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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