wat bout pragnant strippers??
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize