i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
