I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
