the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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