My room smells like vodka and shame
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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