I want to have your abortion
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
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And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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