I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
