you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
