Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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