um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
