She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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