Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
