I accidentally burped into my bong.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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