What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
