If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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