after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
