Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize