Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
