One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
