My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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