Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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