i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
