We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
