Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
