He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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