is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
