You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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