Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
