went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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