How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
