My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
