It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize