spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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