I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
