I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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