Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
