That's intense
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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