sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
