Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
birth control should be required to get into college
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize