We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do vagina's smell?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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