Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
