can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
