i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
