Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
